2015 was a bit of a challenge for me, in all ways. It tested me to the point it left me stunted, a bit depressed, unwilling to move. I wanted to. But, by the middle of it, I wanted to design my life and re-create it, but I could not get myself to do it. I tried being hard on myself, tried wallowing in self pity, being madrama, I tried to feel every moment. It left me scarred. But, I know the light is still glimmering. There are moments of love and laughter amidst everything. But, there were also moments of despair.
I am still refining what I really wanted in my life. One thing is for sure, I want to raise my own family and become the best wife and mother that I can be. But, that couldn’t happen if I am not ready, nor if my future partner in life is also ready. That is the one thing I am sure of.
But, other than that? Career path? Doing my life’s work?I have devoted myself to journey with every person I meet that I will be one of their supporters in their journey back to Love. Little did I know, I shall be also in the flow of it. It was a constant dance, away from Love, and going back to Love.
What transpired the last months of the year 2015 is the realization that: Anything could happen. IN the blink of an eye, God can come and take you away. Whether you’ve done your life’s work or not. No matter how hard you bargain. Also, it is with God’s grace that you live. And how would you choose to live today.
I am suddenly remembered by a statement of Sister Fidelis, that in the after life, God won’t ask us how many projects we’ve done for the world, or how many people we helped…. but God will only ask us one question: HOW WELL DID YOU LOVE?
Did you love wholeheartedly? Or did you hold back? Did you stop loving because you feared? Or you just tried to numb yourself.
I shall always always remember that statement. And of course it is a good match with: You never lose by LOVING.
Of course, there are moments that it is challenging to practice that Love. Because, my ego mind loves to interfere, but I’m doing my very best to be friends with my ego … although there are my moments that I hate how I react to such things… such as… being selosa, being irritable or cranky, unable to take a joke, pikon and a whole lot of things.
All I ask always, is the guidance from the Divine…. and to SURRENDER all my need to control. 🙂
Lord, I surrender all my burdens and worries to you. I know you have always taken care of me, my family, my boo and friends. May I recognize the miracle in everyday, and to always just choose Love.
*sigh* I miss my dad so much, that it brings me tears at night whenever I remember him. It was always my dream for my dad to see his apo’s and his son-in-law one day. No, he didn’t even catch a glimpse of him. 😦 But, my dad despite his lack of words, showed us in his own way, how not to be judgmental. You can always be you and well he’d be mad but he was never one to keep grudges. T_T He was the best example of unconditional love and BEING-ness. Having him around and just hearing you talk.
It was also this year I experienced how to receive support and help from other people. After Papa left…. a lot of people were there and supported us every step of the way. Thank you dear Lord, for never leaving our side. They were there when we need them the most. 🙂
After dad’s death, I was unable to bring myself to write in my Happiness Jar… but here is what I came up with:
Jan 1: Spent time with family. Grateful for the first day of 2015. Wonderful Weather. Healthy Family. The gift of Silence. Me time. Peace. Released. Calm. Love. Boo is crusing and is out of reach, and the angels gave me a card reading today that said: “Your Loved Ones are Safe”. I am assured Boo is safe and sound. 🙂
Jan 2: Today I am grateful that I have an energy exchange from Mom. A family of three also visited the center today and bought 40k worth of products after the health reading! I see this as a sign of things to come!! How does it get any better than this?
Jan 3: GRATEFUL for today! I finally heard from BOO but didnt caught up with him just yet! But happy that he sounds fine… and found a moment to steal some wifi access.
Jan 8: Met Avy and Nessa and did card readings for them. Grateful that a lady inquired in the middle and asked to have hers read soon.
Jan 14: Thankful for my first BEHT client today!! How does it get any better than this?
Jan 21: put your ear down by your HEART and Listen Hard.
Jan 22: Wow! I received my Php 1,350 today from my 3 clients in BEHT! How does it get any better than this?
Jan 27: Today is a happy day with MichaelBoo. I really enjoyed making lambing to him. I love it!! We talked about calls, love, marriage.. tennis, and *wink wink*.
Jan 28: Tribe of Love @ our home, so papa can join in on us and see us meeting. Full house with lots of food. I made the beef tapa today! Woot woot!
feb 4: Its a full moon and we had our MasterMind @ Bahay Kubo.. The Avila’s place. I imagined that I was with Boo and we are together dancing underneath the moonlight! What a day! Today we watched the Shift with the community. “Just be there… Pay attention… .and Magic happens…” =)
Feb 5 2015: Huwaw! Boo’s card arrived today! Happiness! Can’t open it pa! Today I also went to the dentist and it is a win that I’m over my fear of dentists, Mom need not accompany me! I also had a date with Ate Ana @ the Echo Store. I am blessed today!
Feb 9: Today I went out with my Papa. He often loves to join us when we go out of the home. Today, he was game enough to accompany me with my errands. We went to Ate Gyne’s to fetch the Kangen, hatid Paolo at school. and then I visited the post office to follow up on my package, and then I dropped by at a surplus shop where I found an MK bag I have always wanted. Then, I urged my dad to come down and take a look inside since there’s not much people anyway. And he went to the slippers area. He loves slippers! And then I bought the bag and my papa was grinning and wanted a red slipper…. so, I told him sure!! I will get that for you of course! And then I wanted to give my Papa a treat and told him: You want to eat the ice cream Pope ate at the aircraft that is made in the Philippines? And he said: Sure! And so, I bought him the strawberry flavored to which he shared with mom and me at home. 🙂 One of the best days with my Papa. 🙂
Feb13: Boo gave me a sweet amethyst necklace. 2 cards. And he cooked the same breakfast I had today. And even made me spaghetti!!! He is the sweetest! And he took a day off!!! *blushes* We watched 3 idiots. My family was also complete for the dinner!!! Best!
Feb 14: How does it get any better than this? Boo gave me a bouquet of flowers and our third BOOBABY!! Boobwhit is the name! So kyootipay!! Lovely lovely flowers. *blushes* Although he got sick today 😦 But he did his best to be with me…. *hugsBooTight*
Feb 15: Happy Birthday Darlene!!!
Feb 18: Papas Birthday! we had Lamb today!! For Papa! And everyone in the Tribe of Love was present. It was a full house full of fun and laughter. And they sang the Old Lang Syne to my Papa. Good thing I recorded that one!
March 18: While traveling, and waiting for our Bacolod flight in Cebu, Tito Devin and Tita Letty fetched us and took us for lunch at Casa Verde one of the oldest restaurants they have. They have the most generous family in Cebu I know!
March 26: Mom wanted a celebration at home. I bought mom a luggage!! Since she always wanted to have one that is not too large or too small. Papa, also took me on the side the other day and asked me to buy white and pink stargazers for mom as his gift (sweeet!!) (aside from mom’s shopping spree for the day!). It is also their Wedding Anniversary. And they celebrated it with just as and the rest of our household. 🙂
April 27: God gave us an angel in the form of Tita Angie who accompanied us at Camp Aguinaldo, even though it is her birthday today. 🙂
July 28: Happy Birthday Paolooo!!
Sept 24: Happy Birthday Boooo!!
Oct 13: Boo reminded that its my favorite day today and we watched: The Croods and Inside Out!!! Best day ever! As always with Boo.
Oct. 16-17 2015: *made **** today with Boo 😛 in Tagalog. Haha. Stayed up till 12:49 am that;s3:49am. He shared me stories and it was an intimate and loving conversation. I felt so loved.
Nov9 2015: watched 3 movies today with Boo: The Maze Runner, The American President and Beetlejuice. It was lovely. He is the best with Quality Time!!! *hugshugs* I miss Papa though.. I still think fondly of him.
dec 21: Im like a princess or Miss Universe… being crowned today!! Becauseeeee right after the Miss Universe Pageant, a mail arrived from my Boo… huwaaaaa… and I got a CATS beanie! I did not expect that!!! OMG I was so surprised. My Boo sure is supported with the angels and his Timing!
In a nutshell and milestones of 2015:
TSULITTEAM: Lovely days, he makes breakfast for me, waking him up in the morning, making breakfast for him, accompanies me during events, ensures that I get home safely, takes care of me, on moments he sleeps on mewhenever we watch dark movies, celebrated our 3rd year since the day we first met, celebrated our 2nd year in YM and the beginning of our journey together as TsulitTeam, watches movies and series with me, cuddling, supporting one another, listening and understanding one another, loving and just loving……
Movies: How To Train Your Dragon, Call Center Girl, Pirates of The Carribean ON stranger Tides, Addicted, The Visit,
Series watched with Boo: Game of Thrones, Scandal
Travels: Zamboanga City, Cebu City, Cagayan De Oro City(2), Pagadian City, Cadiz City, Metro Manila(4), Batangas City. Samal, Ozamis City, Iligan City(2), Butuan City, Sta. Maria (Little Boracay), Baguio City, Santiago (Isabela) (2), Rizal(2), Tagum City, Bat Cave and Vanishing Island – Samal, Cavite City(2), Urdaneta City, Balanga, Bataan, Laguna,
Workshops Conducted: Heart of Networking: 7 Heart of a Leader: 8 5 Love Languages: 1 MasterMind Workshop: 1
Workshops Staffed: Ikepono: One weekend
Workshops Attended: Enneagram With Sister Fidelis
Ate Something New: Satti (as recommended by Boo),
Weddings Attended: 3
BIG EVENT: Hosted @ MOA ARENA 🙂 with 3K people 🙂
Eventss Supported: Philippine Eagle Family Day, Prosperity Consciousness Day, Cycle for Life (registration), A day to Change the World, Bazaar for A Cause, Tribute of Tito Leo (registration)
Angels met: RC, Ate Grace, Ate Kathy, Kuya Chad Laurente, Cristina, Shrijaya,
My Angels and Crystals Online Shop was also born during the bazaar last August 13, 2015 🙂
Mutant Academy School of Ninja Turtles was also born August 2015
I wasn’t able to document that much this year…. however I wished to document more this coming year…. 🙂