Infinite Love and Abundance 2015

2015 was a bit of a challenge for me, in all ways. It tested me to the point it left me stunted, a bit depressed, unwilling to move. I wanted to. But, by the middle of it, I wanted to design my life and re-create it, but I could not get myself to do it. I tried being hard on myself, tried wallowing in self pity, being madrama, I tried to feel every moment. It left me scarred. But, I know the light is still glimmering. There are moments of love and laughter amidst everything. But, there were also moments of despair.

I am still refining what I really wanted in my life. One thing is for sure, I want to raise my own family and become the best wife and mother that I can be. But, that couldn’t happen if I am not ready, nor if my future partner in life is also ready. That is the one thing I am sure of.

But, other than that? Career path? Doing my life’s work?I have devoted myself to journey with every person I meet that I will be one of their supporters in their journey back to Love. Little did I know, I shall be also in the flow of it. It was a constant dance, away from Love, and going back to Love.

What transpired the last months of the year 2015 is the realization that: Anything could happen. IN the blink of an eye, God can come and take you away. Whether you’ve done your life’s work or not. No matter how hard you bargain. Also, it is with God’s grace that you live. And how would you choose to live today.

I am suddenly remembered by a statement of Sister Fidelis, that in the after life, God won’t ask us how many projects we’ve done for the world, or how many people we helped…. but God will only ask us one question: HOW WELL DID YOU LOVE?

Did you love wholeheartedly? Or did you hold back? Did you stop loving because you feared? Or you just tried to numb yourself.

I shall always always remember that statement. And of course it is a good match with: You never lose by LOVING.

Of course, there are moments that it is challenging to practice that Love. Because, my ego mind loves to interfere, but I’m doing my very best to be friends with my ego … although there are my moments that I hate how I react to such things… such as… being selosa, being irritable or cranky, unable to take a joke, pikon and a whole lot of things.

All I ask always, is the guidance from the Divine…. and to SURRENDER all my need to control. 🙂

Lord, I surrender all my burdens and worries to you. I know you have always taken care of me, my family, my boo and friends. May I recognize the miracle in everyday, and to always just choose Love.

*sigh* I miss my dad so much, that it brings me tears at night whenever I remember him. It was always my dream for my dad to see his apo’s and his son-in-law one day. No, he didn’t even catch a glimpse of him. 😦 But, my dad despite his lack of words, showed us in his own way, how not to be judgmental. You can always be you and well he’d be mad but he was never one to keep grudges. T_T He was the best example of unconditional love and BEING-ness. Having him around and just hearing you talk.

It was also this year I experienced how to receive support and help from other people. After Papa left…. a lot of people were there and supported us every step of the way. Thank you dear Lord, for never leaving our side. They were there when we need them the most. 🙂


After dad’s death, I was unable to bring myself to write in my Happiness Jar… but here is what I came up with:


Jan 1: Spent time with family. Grateful for the first day of 2015. Wonderful Weather. Healthy Family. The gift of Silence. Me time. Peace. Released. Calm. Love. Boo is crusing and is out of reach, and the angels gave me a card reading today that said: “Your Loved Ones are Safe”. I am assured Boo is safe and sound. 🙂

Jan 2: Today I am grateful that  I have an energy exchange from Mom. A family of three also visited the center today and bought 40k worth of products after the health reading! I see this as a sign of things to come!! How does it get any better than this?

Jan 3: GRATEFUL for today! I finally heard from BOO but didnt caught up with him just yet! But happy that he sounds fine… and found a moment to steal some wifi access.

Jan 8: Met Avy and Nessa and did card readings for them. Grateful that a lady inquired in the middle and asked to have hers read soon.

Jan 14: Thankful for my first BEHT client today!! How does it get any better than this?

Jan 21: put your ear down by your HEART and Listen Hard.

Jan 22: Wow! I received my Php 1,350 today from my 3 clients in BEHT! How does it get any better than this?

Jan 27: Today is a happy day with MichaelBoo. I really enjoyed making lambing to him. I love it!! We talked about calls, love, marriage.. tennis, and *wink wink*.

Jan 28:  Tribe of Love @ our home, so papa can join in on us and see us meeting. Full house with lots of food. I made the beef tapa today! Woot woot!

feb 4: Its a full moon and we had our MasterMind @ Bahay Kubo.. The Avila’s place. I imagined that I was with Boo and we are together dancing underneath the moonlight! What a day! Today we watched the Shift with the community. “Just be there… Pay attention… .and Magic happens…” =)

Feb 5 2015: Huwaw! Boo’s card arrived today! Happiness! Can’t open it pa! Today I also went to the dentist and it is a win that I’m over my fear of dentists, Mom need not accompany me! I also had a date with Ate Ana @ the Echo Store. I am blessed today!

Feb 9: Today I went out with my Papa. He often loves to join us when we go out of the home. Today, he was game enough to accompany me with my errands. We went to Ate Gyne’s to fetch the Kangen, hatid Paolo at school. and then I visited the post office to follow up on my package, and then I dropped by at a surplus shop where  I found an MK bag I have always wanted. Then, I urged my dad to come down and take a look inside since there’s not much people anyway. And he went to the slippers area. He loves slippers! And then I bought the bag and my papa was grinning and wanted a red slipper…. so, I told him sure!! I will get that for you of course! And then I wanted to give my Papa a treat and told him: You want to eat the ice cream Pope ate at the aircraft that is made in the Philippines? And he said: Sure! And so, I bought him the strawberry flavored to which he shared with mom and me at home. 🙂 One of the best days with my Papa. 🙂

Feb13: Boo gave me a sweet amethyst necklace. 2 cards. And he cooked the same breakfast I had today. And even made me spaghetti!!! He is the sweetest! And he took a day off!!! *blushes* We watched 3 idiots. My family was also complete for the dinner!!! Best!

Feb 14: How does it get any better than this? Boo gave me a bouquet of flowers and our third BOOBABY!! Boobwhit is the name! So kyootipay!! Lovely lovely flowers. *blushes* Although he got sick today 😦 But he did his best to be with me…. *hugsBooTight*

Feb 15: Happy Birthday Darlene!!!

Feb 18: Papas Birthday! we had Lamb today!! For Papa! And everyone in the Tribe of Love was present. It was a full house full of fun and laughter. And they sang the Old Lang Syne to my Papa. Good thing I recorded that one!

March 18: While traveling, and waiting for our Bacolod flight in Cebu, Tito Devin and Tita Letty fetched us and took us for lunch at Casa Verde one of the oldest restaurants they have. They have the most generous family in Cebu I know!

March 26: Mom wanted a celebration at home. I bought mom a luggage!! Since she always wanted to have one that is not too large or too small. Papa, also took me on the side the other day and asked me to buy white and pink stargazers for mom as his gift (sweeet!!) (aside from mom’s shopping spree for the day!). It is also their Wedding Anniversary. And they celebrated it with just as and the rest of our household. 🙂

April 27: God gave us an angel in the form of Tita Angie who accompanied us at Camp Aguinaldo, even though it is her birthday today. 🙂

July 28: Happy Birthday Paolooo!!

Sept 24: Happy Birthday Boooo!!

Oct 13: Boo reminded that its my favorite day today and we watched: The Croods and Inside Out!!! Best day ever! As always with Boo.

Oct. 16-17 2015: *made **** today with Boo 😛 in Tagalog. Haha. Stayed up till 12:49 am that;s3:49am. He shared me stories and it was an intimate and loving conversation. I felt so loved.

Nov9 2015: watched 3 movies today with Boo: The Maze Runner, The American President and Beetlejuice. It was lovely. He is the best with Quality Time!!! *hugshugs* I miss Papa though.. I still think fondly of him.

dec 21: Im like a princess or Miss Universe… being crowned today!!  Becauseeeee right after the Miss Universe Pageant, a mail arrived from my Boo… huwaaaaa… and  I got a CATS beanie! I did not expect that!!! OMG I was so surprised. My Boo sure is supported with the angels and his Timing!


In a nutshell and milestones of 2015:

TSULITTEAM: Lovely days, he makes breakfast for me, waking him up in the morning, making breakfast for him, accompanies me during events, ensures that I get home safely, takes care of me, on moments he sleeps on mewhenever we watch dark movies, celebrated our 3rd year since the day we first met, celebrated our 2nd year in YM and the beginning of our journey together as TsulitTeam, watches movies and series with me, cuddling, supporting one another, listening and understanding one another, loving and just loving……

Movies: How To Train Your Dragon, Call Center Girl, Pirates of The Carribean ON stranger Tides, Addicted, The Visit,

Series watched with Boo: Game of Thrones, Scandal

Travels: Zamboanga City, Cebu City, Cagayan De Oro City(2), Pagadian City, Cadiz City, Metro Manila(4), Batangas City. Samal, Ozamis City, Iligan City(2), Butuan City, Sta. Maria (Little Boracay), Baguio City, Santiago (Isabela) (2), Rizal(2), Tagum City, Bat Cave and Vanishing Island – Samal, Cavite City(2), Urdaneta City, Balanga, Bataan, Laguna,

Workshops Conducted: Heart of Networking: 7      Heart of a Leader: 8    5 Love Languages: 1 MasterMind Workshop: 1

Workshops Staffed: Ikepono: One weekend

Workshops Attended: Enneagram With Sister Fidelis

Ate Something New: Satti (as recommended by Boo),

Weddings Attended: 3

BIG EVENT: Hosted @ MOA ARENA 🙂 with 3K people 🙂

Eventss Supported: Philippine Eagle Family Day, Prosperity Consciousness Day, Cycle for Life (registration), A day to Change the World, Bazaar for A Cause, Tribute of Tito Leo (registration)

Angels met: RC, Ate Grace, Ate Kathy, Kuya Chad Laurente, Cristina, Shrijaya,

My Angels and Crystals Online Shop was also born during the bazaar last August 13, 2015 🙂

Mutant Academy School of Ninja Turtles was also born August 2015


I wasn’t able to document that much this year…. however I wished to document more this coming year…. 🙂


August Rush!

It’s not the usual busy August I have the past few years…. but… it was filled with memorable days!

First off: Our Heart Circle Initiative with my mom is on the roll for the first quarter. There were challenges along the way, as facilitators. True. This role in the society is not easy but it is rewarding if one sees changes in the lives of the people that are being empowered. we are challenged to shorten our modules, and all that and find better, easier, gentle loving ways to effectively communicate… how we can have a world that works…. with no one left behind….tumblr_lrqfjjosqr1qi23vmo1_500

Secondly: Ive been meeting some of my friends… individually.. .and all are asking to have some kind of “Maria Gathering”. To talk about women and relationships… Huwaaa. as if im the go-to gal for that ano? Siguro sa women part I am. But, I did my fair share of studying and observing couples around…. and for it maybe I can support other ladies… to find their wholeness first.. and being happy with their own self first… before sharing their life with another 🙂 [and I’m about to do my mini debut.. haha with 4 lady friends muna… I wanted to keep it small.. for the moment… and we will play it by ear ] – August 27

Third: Ana is back! Wooot Woot! and always when she’s back… there’s always something cooking up for us ladies! And this time we finally visited this oldskul bar called Acropolis. and we danced with what ? 80’s music! Mwahahaha. It was one of the most fun nights I’ve had with my girlfriends! Haha. Sa uulitin!!

Fourth: Spending time with my family and watching movies as our bond is something to look forward too. Just don’t make me watch horror okay? I scream too much! Puhleaseee! :p

and Fifth: It has been an awesome month with my man! The best! We celebrated a milestone this month… and we approached it with our usual spontaneity! Ahhh, may we never lose that! We wade through our challenges really well.. and have learned how to do it together. In synch! Like peanut butter and jelly, strawberry ice cream and crepes, mangoes and grahams, pancakes and butter… okay .. now Im hungry!!! And I’ve noticed.. our usual “tampuhan moments” are shorter… which is a progress and we can catch ourselves in between… and forgive right away! Ahhhh. The best ka talaga, Love! *hugs* *blows kisses*

Grateful.Always grateful for everything that has been happening! 🙂

Pure Bliss 2014

All my intentions last 2013 …. came true!!!!!

and my 2014 was a smooth transition… well more than smooth.. it was coupled with warm hearts and love. *smiles*

The year started well!

And well it’s time for my annual ritual of setting this year’s theme…… and it’s Pure Bliss 2014!!

This year… I choose to nurture and cherish what God gave me …. infused with heavenly warmth….

I choose to love & respect myself more…

I choose to live  full out and be authentic….I choose to reach out to more people…

I choose to let go of things that does not serve me….

I choose to harvest millions and more!!! *excited*

I choose for this year to have many adventures and cherished-moments with my loved ones…. and boo  *smiles*

I choose to make my life a masterpiece to inspire people that they too can create a meaningful and well loved life….

I choose to make more healthy choices, be it in rest and in eating well… and keeping my body fit!

I choose to travel and explore more,,… and being more open by staying out of my box…. creating a lot of loving firsts..

I choose to paint my year with a dash of spontaneity, fun, laughter, filled with gratitude, generous, care-free moments!

I choose to be guided by God all the time, with the support of the angels to do my life’s purpose and be a child of Light.

I choose to be strong and whole, courageous and confident, capable and successful, and free!!!

I choose to celebrate more with my loved ones 🙂 I choose to be more fun-loving, beautiful, and wise Maria, inspiring many Maria’s to create a fabulous life!

I choose to make positive changes to help/support the transformation of Philippines.

I choose to bring out the child-like qualities in me this year… being more free each day…

I choose to BE-ing more… being love, joyful, excited, compassionate, vibrant,enchanting, creative, beautiful, elegant, classy, more present and aware and evolved….

I choose to pay more attention to the signs and symbols and thereby always being at the right place at the perfect time… with the right people…..

I choose to surround myself with like-minded people. Meeting more people with the same vision and mission in life. I choose to meet more people I admire in transforming our world.

I choose to be a good daughter, caring sister, trusted friend, generous business partner and a loving partner to my boo …

I choose to keep my passion and embracing each day like it’s my first day!!

I choose to explore new things that will support me in the future and treasuring every journey i embark on…

I choose to travel with my boo.. *blushes*

I choose to swirl my life with colors of happiness, trust, faith, love, magical, enchanted moments…..

I choose to experience and enjoy God’s blessings… and being a blessing..This year, I choose to celebrate God’s abundance, more enchanted moments with my boo, more laughter and fun-times with my friends and family, and yes ….. more magical kisses please….

all of this…. in God’s glory… and just like Heaven….. So be it and So it is…..

WILD & Awesome 2013

and indeed it was a W.I.L.D… one *insert song Wild One ft. Sia*

in case one needs a refresher… I coined WILD as “wonderfully, interesting, love filled days” and indeed my 2013 was filled with that!
Wonderfully interesting by pushing our Liwanag World Festival last February 2013 and by late July, early August my love filled days started and it’s been brewin ever since up to now…. and my heart is desiring for a forever here. [insert song: First Day of Forever] *may the love angels guide us* Yes, there’s something sweet in that desire. Right, boo?

Everyone I know was going through a whole lot of ups & downs. In fact, this year is one tough year for everyone. It was a year of “losses” – be it personally, financially, emotionally, physically…….. I lost a good close friend of mine… Yan2x…. but I know he will always be remembered in my heart. And a lot of my good friends and loved ones lost someone who are close to their hearts too. Also the calamities that devastated parts of our country was equally depressing. However, let this all be not for naught but always cherish and remember our loved ones. Remember our good times with them…because they are never gone… they will always live in our hearts. Meantime, may it teach us to be more present with one another and to always give our all…. When it comes to relationships. Take chances that are there for the taking because we never know what would happen next…… and say the words you would want your loved ones to hear….. because today can be the last day or the first day of your life….. The year was filled with expose as well as the spotlight shifts to our corrupt government officials. *insert explicit words here* It was in fact a year of drama or turmoil if you choose to suffer that long, but at the bright side of everything … is that sometimes… some things needs to fall apart so we can choose the pieces we want to stay in our life…..

This year, I had to go through bouts of confusion in matters of career, because I was confused with all the opportunities unfolding to the point of “I don’t want to move” or “I don’t know what to do”. But, I did try new ventures and found out it was more of an added skill to what I can do one day to support me for a larger purpose which is to be of service to the Filipinos and ultimately the humankind. By spreading LOVE and in more tangible terms… giving each one sustainable support and empowering them to go find their own path.  I even thought of moving out from home… but felt it wasn’t the right time. Yet.

To everyone who braved the year 2013… I congratulate you! Two more challenging years up ahead and we are well on our way to adjusting to the thinning veil of materialism and externals versus valuing what truly matters most to each and every one of us. And that is: what we feel beyond the physical… love, relationships, & spirituality. Just hold on to what matters most and all will not be lost. J Make sure you pick up the worthy ones! Pass up good, wait for great! If you found yourself something great…. Hold onto that and fight for your true heart’s desires….. they don’t usually come around for a second time! 🙂

This year, I’ve experienced various individuals who tested my patience. More like, I’ve encountered people I would rather not deal with in matters of business affairs and personal encounters. Also, betrayal of trust was one issue I tackled, however God always spares me and keeps me from harm while at the same time able to teach me a lesson. I also encountered my bitchy self twice this year. And I know, I ought to trust my intuition more. And now, I know when to stay or leave without prolonging the agony. Ive also learned how to forgive myself for making stoopid mistakes now and then. *face palm*

But then, it was good that on February, I did a spring cleaning of my heart….. Forgiving and letting go of past hurts and angers…. In order to bring in love again… and he arrived on an August day… like a gentle koala with his eucalyptus… and he was just right before my eyes pala… I just have to open my eyes…. [insert song: open your eyes to love]

This year was also wedding-filled!! 7 weddings! But only managed to join the 5 weddings. My closet is filled with dresses na! I was secondary sponsor on 2 weddings, one I was the candle, and another towel. To all the newly married couples for the year 2013… I wish you all the best and may you inspire more people to love and cherish their chosen ones!  and mind you, they were all couples and partnerships that I admire because each has their own spark and uniqueness and they inspire me.

[shout outs to: Rey & Karyl (Urdaneta) – you are a young couple, however I see the love and commitment that is rare sa age nyo… it inspires me!, Kuya Noli & Ate Tere (Batangas) – ive seen you together 4 years ago and we thought you were just friends! Mag boyfriend pala eh!!, Kuya Jaime & Ate Beth (Tagum – may 26) – huwaaa your goal while you were under me Ate Beth was to plan your wedding… you have no idea how your partnership and devotion to Kuya Jaime inspires me.  Meynard & Fran(june 8) – when I heard your love story… I was deeply touched and moved. Kuya Eli and Ate Precious(july 20) – your story is similar to mine.. so that’s why I understood what you guys had to go through… and look at you all pregnant and happy already! Bords &Regine – you are a cute couple! best wishes!!  Cris and Ate Jill – Huwaaaaa!! You’ve seen me both in my brokenness and happiness…. And it is with your partnership that inspires me to also not give up and to keep opening my eyes….]

Despite everything in 2013, I am super grateful for one gift God gave me. 🙂 He is a gift because; I love who I am becoming because of him. And I know it to be true. I know he wouldn’t like it if I mention his name here…. But you know who you are sweetheart! To us, the challenge is… the gift of patience, anticipation, and building the foundation to a lasting worthy partnership…. I don’t know where it will take us… but I’ll be holding you in my heart as you will hold me in yours…. It won’t be hearts and flowers or rosy all the time…. But always remember, if there’s a fall out…. that won’t change my love and respect to you. Kisses  hugstight


This year for BDJ’s checklist: Here’s what I managed to cross off:

*Allow yourself to make mistakes

*Be eco-conscious

*Build your own blog/website – I opened a new theme this year….. @ tumblr

*Buy flowers for your mother – during her birthday! She loves flowers!!

*Clean your playlist – I did!! Whoopeee!

*Dance in the pouring rain – who doesn’t love to be childlike every now and then?

*Drink more water and less soda – check!! Altho I did drink more soda this year than last year

*Eat more fruits and less sweets – yup! Less chocolates and cakes this year!

*Face your greatest fear – JUMP!!! Jumping off the Hayahay rock! Believe me that wasn’t just a fear…. It’s trauma that I overcame from that jump!

*Get your fortune told – Uhmm does pulse reading count?

*Give compliments – Yup!!!

*Google yourself – I have sooo much digital trail … I plan to take them off one by one one day!!

*Jump off a high cliff into the ocean – well, it wasn’t a high cliff… it was just a short jump.. but that was a big deal for me *refer to greatest fear*

*Laugh your heart out

*Learn a new song and dance – chicken dance!! Whoops kiri whoops!!

*Learn a new sport – Kayak!!!
*Learn how to drive – more like polishing my driving skills. More confident now. Parking na lang!

*Learn how to take criticisms – *refer to my post HERE

*Learn to forgive yourself and others

*Learn to say No

*Let go of your past – supercheck!

*Make a baby laugh – haha all the time!

*Make someone a good cup of coffee – yup!!

*Own a pet and take good care of it – Chichay!!! *here* (October)

*Plant a tree – @ Maa Watershed offsetting our LWF carbon footprint (August)

*Play a game of poker with your friends and bluff a hand – new year 2013 with my childhood friends!

*Say “I Love You” to someone special – Bootsulit!  *kiss*

*Smile at 100 strangers

*Sort your wardrobe

*Take a holiday trip with your Best Friend! – Bee! But it was more of business pleasure? But well it was really pleasure naman! Haha (August)

*Throw a huge party with your cousins – Bridal Shower (October)

*Update your resume


2013 Firsts:

*press conferences

*my first PPA meeting (Potential Problem Analysis)

*ex-deal negotiations

*spirit keeper of Happy Team Campaign (politics)

*meeting the Filipino Chinese businessmen here in Dabaw

*First Book reading of I am Maria!

*filing a police report

*got a license from IC

*organized a bridal shower for my cousin

Movies on-screen:

*Life Of Pi, Les Miserables, White House Down, 4 Sisters and a Wedding, Girl, Boy, Bakla, Tomboy

Memorable Events:

*Liwanag World Festival 2013 preparation and days

*Lunch with Joey Ayala at the Adventurer’s abode, Dinner at Kublai’s home! (spontaneous!)

*MISSION Reunion @ Davao

*My Birthday Celebration (spontaneous!) everyone just went sa bahay! Huwaaa everyone that mattered to me. We watched a movie till sawa!!! It was just casual and chill

*Hosted THE RSA with a bang! Huwaaaaa! I did it well and a lot of people congratulated me whoopee I don’t think I want to do it again though. Nyahahaha. Scared the wits out of me!

*Ikepono Gathering (April – Davao)

*meeting Ate Claire after a year sa Leap! J

*attending Milo’s concert! A popular indie European musician, who is the cousin of Ate Maya.

*meeting Justin Garrido of

*Bowling with Ikepono peeps!

*Seeing Boses and the cast @ Cinematheque

*with Kath and her hubby, gift giving @ Malinaw Elementary School

*met ate Meg!!

*Blue moon date with Boo

*joined Million March (peaceful way) – singing

*Kuya Atho arrives

*huge waves @ Hayahay!!!

*BBQ Party – convergence with the Lightworkers

*Ate Au’s Birthday (Paradise in the morning, with Dr. Vic’s talk, plus dinner @ Sarung Banggi).

*Movie date: Harry Potter with Boo

*Boo & Trish episode so cute!

*Full moon Lunar Party @ Ilawod House Warming

*Kapampangan Ilokano talk with Boo

*DXN’s 14th Anniversary!

*Rainbow in Club Med, Cherating Beach (Nov. 19)

*DXN’s 20th Anniversary!

*days and nights with Boo


*Lake Agco, Hayahay (4), Cebu, Bohol, Tagum, Paradise Island (2), Sea Grass (1), Padada (2), Marbel (3), Eden Nature (1), Manila (4), Baguio (1), Malaysia (1), Bangkok (1),


I conducted/facilitated:

Discovery Workshop Cebu, Heart Quest 4(5 sessions),

I staffed:

Ikepono (March Davao), Ikepono (April / Manila), Discovery (level1), Level 2 Breakthrough (2)

I attended:

BOP, PCTC, Wealth Management Forum, Wealth Workshop with Russ, Surrender to Love, The Shift, Club Med Cherating International Seminar (DXN)

in your face

a day of wholeness. that was yesterday.

It was our last intensive/session for our 2 month coaching program. We had a total of 20 coachees, which was quiet a load considering, the effort one needs to break down the stubborn barriers/habits each possessed, and the struggle to break down words and simplify for them to understand.

I was one of the facilitators for the coaching series, and I wasn’t supposed to really take on coachee’s. But, I did, because during the pre-coach series, I handled them and one requested not to be passed to the other coach. That was something I should not have done, because I thought I could juggle the workload, I could be getting from the coming weeks.

You see, aside from the coaching series, I  had to handle a Service Center from a nearby city, handle other commitments (workshops, I’ve committed to), and brainstorm for the re-programming of a coaching series, social stuff(I have to re-surface for highschool & college friends).

During the last session, we asked them to share their own Heart Quest Journey… “what worked” and “what didn’t work”. One of my coachee’s chose to speak first and he got 100% on bot accounts but he said, to my face and in front of 19 coachees, and 6 coaches, that the “coaching” part didn’t work.

That was like the end of Davao for me. [not the world, yet. though] I felt really, really bad, and it was like ughhhh. I can’t take it off my mind.

I wanted to lash out or burst out into tears from getting that feedback. And he went on and on, about how he had to do his own thing, and that he did it all by himself (which was really the purpose of coaching, I’m merely a sounding board). “My happiness & excitement worked”, he says but it was like saying “I didn’t like my coach”.

I wanted to defend myself, I wanted to say: “Can’t you see? The whole point of the coaching series was for you to do it on your own. Not someone who would tell you what to do. And besides, you weren’t even doing your part when I asked you to list down your action plans! *&#$%!” Insert all the reasons my ego needs to defend itself.

But then, I deduced it to: “Why, thank you for your feedback and your honesty, I needed that.” *as I grit my teeth, and softened my glare.

However, there was some truth to that. For the first few weeks, I was updated by their progress, cheering them on, suggesting things, reminding them. However, when they started not to be on time when it comes to calls, I told them to just sms me. Maybe, the calls was too much for me, too uncomfortable, because I had to stop what I was doing, and for the next couple of weeks, my commitment to the 2 coachees regressed. It was also due to the fact, that I was facing something really challenging which involves thousands of money to recover, and emotional stuffs. And it’s like I wasn’t in the space of dealing with it.

I was also holding back for most of the part.

And in the long run, I wasn’t there na. 100%. So, I really deserved to hear that feedback. No matter, how that hurts, and how that marred my ego. Man, no stroking of egos today pala!

Once again my issues of holding back, people pleasing are coming to surface. Arghhh.

And what I was giving to the series, is being reflected with the results they are getting.

My gentle, loving, allowing self didn’t work. Well, wait lang. I’ll be your hard-to-please, no- nonsense, push-you-to your limits coach! Haha. Joke lang.

But, the real struggle for me as of late… is balancing all these commitments all at once, which is really sometimes taking a toll on me, as  I have to use all my mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and social capacity to it’s limits. And really being there 100% despite all the challenges trying to burn my butt.

Balance. I need to find my balance.

(wala pa ako love life nyan ha!! see, how much I need a love life that is not another headache? one that is light and humorous, because life… and other people are giving me theirs na noh!)


2012 was indeed enchanting, despite the lack of the Enchanted River adventure or the Enchanted Farm tour (yes, it’s still on the list!).

And, I was kind of miffed that I did not get to visit those. boohoo.

So, what was 2012 like?

My journey was about purification and a bright light at the end. I met many interesting people and actually my Enchanting 2012 declaration held true for most of the year. Things happened at the right moment and with the right people.

2012 was indeed a magical year for me, it was like being a lovely balloon floating on a soft breeze. I was blessed with various angels, lightworkers, kindred spirits along the way. Of course, I still do get a few ghouls and monsters along the way, but my light and rainbow sizzles the darkness or better yet transmutes it into kindness.

Many people just left my radar or my family’s frequency as I know that would happen since, people who are not meant to journey together will have a “falling out” for 2012. And we experienced so many mangoes falling from our tree, which is a bit sad but necessary for our growth. But, there were also reconciliations.. time does heal wounds… specially when you don’t resist it.

But, more than that… I thought.. life was just about how you can be kind to others, loving others. But, no. The hardest thing in life… is not really about loving other people… but learning how to love & accept oneself. ME. MYSELF. I. But no, I put off things that I want for other people. But, this journey… allowed me to experience myself… -in authenticity.

My life was in frenzy specially after taking on LIWANAG. Everyone was wondering, where do I get my energy? (altho i did experience downtimes by the end of the year. it got to me too) Hah. Definitely not a normal energy… but i’m tapping into the grid… and that’s NATURAL! 🙂

So here’s a recap of exciting, enchanted moments Ive had this 2012…..

New Experiences:

  • Coordinating the MISSION Volunteers Program with 6 Interns from Sweden, USA, Switzerland, Germany, & Australia. It was a wonderful experience.
  • on a Vday, i drove the car for the whole day. coolbeans. tantyado lahat parking space syempre!
  • Toured Museo Dabawenyo. Twas cool. Great tour guide. Coined the term “Imagila’s from there.
  • KAYAK ride! HAHA.
  • experiencing the paranormal @ Iloilo. some nature spirit… @ dusk
  • Colorful Lightning Storm… @ Zarraga. like some light orchestra.
  • the possibility of being a part of a movie production (one of my dreams!)

Who I met: 6 interns (Philip, Louisa, Mirka,Peter, Corinna, & Christian), Atty. Lyka Lopez, Riza Regis (crystal lady of the philippines. author of crystal power), Dra. Jean Lindo (anti-coal plant), Kublai Milan (davao’s esteemed local artist), MISSION members from different nodes: Tita Terry, Ate Grace, Fr. Tito, Ate Tammy, Ate Tressa, Sarah, Louise, . Yogan. Vida. USEP President. PWCs Vice President. Call me maybe guys. Lunch with DXN’s CEO. Julius. Kuya Atho. Ate Kim. Lorraine. Lola B. Tita Au. Kuya Joseph Solar. Mr. 8. Karyl &Rey. Matt Jay. Bruce Conching. Webex Conference with Jeanie & Bonnie (people behind Barbra Marx HUbbard). DXNs COO Mr. Teo Han Ching. Karlo. Kuya Third. Joel Rey. Marlene P. Babes A. Vhong Navarro. Joey Ayala.

Major Events:

  • Paolo’s Lion King Shadow Play
  • Jesel’s baby, Yuhan was born and i was once again a godmama
  • attended a coloring bookshop of Kublai
  • Paolo’s High School Graduation
  • Lunch with DXNs CEO (who says he wants to visit our home)
  • Past Life Regression (long time coming! right moment)
  • Liwanag Launching (Kadayawan)
  • Peace Fair
  • Eurythmy Transitions
  • DXNs 13th Anniversary
  • DXN’s ITSI @ HK  & Macau
  • DSAP Awards. Mom being the Hall of Famer.

Workshops/Trainings I’ve attended:

  • Workshop Courage: Davao (Feb) – organized this
  • Crystal Healing Workshop (March) – organized this
  • Rudolf Steiner Education (March)
  • Biography Workshop 2days (April) – organized this
  • Aletheia @ Iloilo 3 weeks (May)
  • Biodynamic Healing Workshop 3days @ Davao (July) – organized this
  • Liwanag Workshop Courage (July) – organized this
  • Sustainable Initiatives Mapping (July) – organized this
  • Ikepono – 6days (September)
  • Aletheia Reunion (September)
  • Basic Makeup Tutorial (November)
  • DXN Trainor’s Training *6 modules* (November)
  • Sining Bayan (December)

Workshops/Training I’ve facilitated:

  • Heart Circle Workshop in CDO (January)
  • Heart of A Leader at DXN H.O, Quezon City (April)
  • New Game of Networking at DXN H.O., Quezon City (April)
  • Heart of A Leader for SDs (May)
  • Heart of A Leader for SDs (May)
  • Heart Quest 1 & 2 Davao (August-October)
  • Liwanag Quest Workshop for Volunteers (November)
  • Heart Quest 3 Luzon (December)

Projects I started/pursued:

  • AOW received two offers. But, did not push thru yet because cannot commit of the time.
  • DXN Life – we had 3 sets! woot!
  • Love & Liberty Facebook gift shop
  • Team Umalohokan
  • Heart Circle – reactivated. created blog and facebook fan/group page
  • Spirit Keepers
  • Heart Quest Coaching Program
  • New Maria to I am Maria
  • my secret cafe project!

Chillax Mode: I wasnt all work naman ata! 🙂

  • Hayahay overnight with the MVs, Ate Gyne, Kuya Sonni, Ate Nitta and Kuya Nick. (fireflies.stars.skylantern.meeting)
  • Lake Agco trips – iiii
  • Eden Mountain Resort
  • Hayahay with Bruce and re-united friends in diff. networks.
  • Farm tours

Places I’ve been: Cagayan de Oro, El Salvador City, Kidapawan City, Manila, Bansalan, Quezon City, Iloilo, hilly part of Davao, Tagum City, Padada, Urdaneta, Pangasinan, Balanga, Bataan, GenSan City, Hong Kong, Macau,

I have equally dark moments too, allowing myself to experience the wholeness of life and not beating up myself after all those bouts of insanity. I get into disagreements with mom, where I would feel once again that everything I do is not enough. Being very affected with sad news, getting offended, my quirks & pet peeves being tested by people that I meet. Feeling lonely sometimes…. and this dull achy feeling of allowing myself to experience pain, jealousy, angst.

On the brighter side: yoga workouts in between. Learned Tai Chi. Had a short stint with  voice lesson. story telling with kids. fancied herb plants (tarragon, mint, oregano). moonbaths. fabrics. crystals. dated 3 guys. reunions (immediate relatives and LEAP Posible +). relationships renewed. 2 close friends got pregnant (Ate Ji & Chaya). tour guiding. got a bike. nature walks. altars. appreciating rituals. a-ha moments. magic. fairies. angels. venus in transit last june. sacred feminine. rainbows. boodle fights. mom’s enchanted garden. kilig moments, a whole lot of them – katext. kachat. ka-fb. kasama sa kapehan. chikahan. H’oponopono. menstrual cycles. bumping into the owners of business establishments. clearing. deleting. purification. will exercise. sunflower exercise. paying 1.7 M. blue moon. leap year. made an outline for a future book. feeling giddy & inspired. kids running around me and be-friending me. closet conversations about sex with girlfriends over coffee. making friends with strangers, like a kid! smiling at random people sa streets (of course one that doesn’t freak people out).

2012 was a ball of enchantment! 🙂

Thank you 2012 and for the Creative Force behind everything… 🙂

Leaping Love

Hah. No, I have no one I am romantically interested in right now. Im starting to think I wont have that yet. Nor is my future leading to that direction. Oh dear. And to think each year Ive been turning 21 since what-something year. (growing older daw!) Anyhoo, I wont worry about that… I still have a mission and it doesn’t involve romantic love boohoo. Oh, the things one needs to set aside all for the future of humanity.

Anyway, I’ve had the best month… so far… If best means being busy amidst everything well, I guess it’s alright.

For the first time, I was able to coordinate 6 MISSION Interns hailing from 4 different countries (Australia, Germany, US and Switzerland) under Youth Initiative Program (YIP) based in Sweden. It was a fun experience. and it strengthened the teamwork of our node. Also, I spent my birthday and VDay with them. It was kind of momentous since we are planning something HUGE for the world… on those days. 🙂

We also celebrated my dad and my sister’s birthday. Family bonding! (as always!) We’ve been eating cakes for quite some time now. What with 3 birthdays in a month? 😛

And our community in business also had it’s first big event for the year…. we welcomed new distributors… and honored/recognized the newly promoted SA’s and SR’s. Which ended well. What’s best is in between those awards we experienced “reconciliation” between a close business partner of ours. Some people do come and go….. and sometimes it needs time for wounds to heal… and reconciliation is indeed possible… it was one of the most precious moments. 🙂

In a nutshell… this month… is a leaping love.. aside from containing an extra day for the year…

  • i was able to visit the beach (with the Interns and beloved friends) (island)
  • visited a medicinal Lake at the foot of Mt. Apo called Lake Agco (to highlands adventure) connecting with nature was love. 🙂
  • meet the crystal healer Ms. Riza Regis
  • planned something for the world
  • got a coloring book signed by a local artist Kublai
  • fulfilled most of my commitments
  • a close friend of mine gave birth to a baby girl
  • also attended a baptism of a friend’s baby i am to be a godmama again!
  • organized a Workshop:Courage
  • planning for AOW’s comeback! WOW. im finally meeting the right team!

29 days and that’s what I got? 😛

But, the journey isn’t as easy or light as it sounds. I’ve experienced a few downtimes myself… which made me want to hibernate.. a luxury I don’t have yet as of the moment.

And I still am not as disciplined as I wish to be when it comes to meditation and personal mastery exercises…. I wanna do it… but i dont want to beat myself out of it…

I plan to make a schedule… so I can see what I am supposed to do for the week…

Wew. I need a lot of sage sometimes too for clearing!! Ahhh

but the month’s good to me. really good. 🙂

I am really in gratitude to God who has been leading me and my family….. He was always so loving… and very unconditional. He knows where our heart is….. 🙂 Loveee you!!

Image Source: Fuckyeahartistic