She

Once upon a time there was a girl who devoted her life to her one true love.

He promised the world to her, so she put on hold all her lesser dreams and waited around for him.

She’d turn down dinners with friends or activities outside or anything that would take her away from him and if she needs to be out she would rush to get home just to spend time with him. She did it because she knew she had to give of herself fully. And she did it wholeheartedly with no regrets.

Of course, it wasnt rosy the whole time. There were challenges. Some that would make her grow, others simply a mirror. She took them all with a brave heart and persevered and loved him all the same.

Little by little, she was taken forgranted. She noticed, he was becoming more impatient with her. She heard words she did not expect to hear from someone who was supposed to love her. 

That did it.

One day, she just stopped.

One day, she began choosing herself.

One day, she took activities and projects. Filled herself up with things she is also very passionate about.

She realized, her happiness should not be from him. She needs to live. And be happy even if he is unhappy with her because she wasn’t the perfect girl the man she loves wanted her to be.

She knows he is tired. He doesn’t want drama. He does not have the patience. And he cannot give that to her.

So she gave it to herself instead.

If she wanted to be happy, she just generated it from within.

Now, she can give fully to him.

She can give more. Without feeling less.

There are times she would be hurt. But it is not the same hurt as it was before.

It is one that has matured, overtime.

One that is not clingy anymore.

One that respects a simple NO from the man she loves. Even if it means having to withdraw and stay away if her presence is not helping him.

Even if it means dropping the habits they built so they can grow. 

The choice to grow together or apart remains in their day to day choices. And whether the man she loves would still want to be with her.

God knows how she loved him.

Even if she is happy.. She still misses him. She misses the talks. The routine. The good morning. The waking up. The medicines. The endearment. The iloveyousomuchicanthelpbutsayitallthetime.

She still loves him. He knows that. 

She wishes he would take care of her love this time.

She loves him. She loves him so much she misses him. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s