be kind to the doll

i felt like a doll being discarded because i am no longer fun to play with.

I felt like a nobody to him, just because he doesn’t like parts of me. 

It hurts not to be loved for who you really are but to be loved only when the conditions are right for him.

In all my relations with him.. I have always been kind. But, his words to me the past few times we have been in communication with pierces like a knife. And would keep replaying in my mind like a broken tape recorder.

It is true that the ones that hurts us most are the ones we love most.

I wish one day, all the pain will depart and I will once again see him in his innocence. And that I will see him again in love. 

But, sometimes .. I also need the kindness. And this time.. I cannot expect it from him. But for myself to give it to me.

I will be kind to myself by stopping myself the torture of thinking things or replaying hurtful words that were said to me as not being worthy enough to be fought for.. Wooed upon… Given the effort for him to see me. 

I will be kind to myself by engaging more in activities that feeds my soul irregardless of being in a relationship or not.

I will be kind to myself by forgiving myself.

I will be kind to myself by feeling God’s love and mine and that it is enough and the approval of one is nothing compared to the Divine.

I will be kind to myself by being patient.

I will be kind to myself by giving all the love that I deserve.

I wish you well M. 😇🌈

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