Not exactly rose colored this time

Im still in south korea as of the moment… While im enjoying the daytime tour.. im actually masking an inner challenge i am going through.

My days here has been both of sheer joy with my mother and sister but i find myself watching the horizon, watching autumn leaves falling down the ground… With sadness or silent reverie… Or at night.. Sobbing… (For reasons id want to keep to myself as of the moment)….

Im once again catching myself at the crossroads…. *sigh*

So far, im just listening to the signs… the messages im getting.. I think i wanna go get a past life regression after this.. Its not healthy already. Im catching myself.. getting sick easily when i feel so down… And i can almost always instruct my body to be sick and sometimes i want to just to escape.
But, i always catch myself before making it go worse tho…

But meantime ive been instructing myself to just sleep sleep sleep..

At the bus during our tours… As soon as i sit down.. I dont usually bother staying up to listen to our tour guide but i just zzzzssshhh right away.. To avoid thinking… 😭😭😭😭

I know im talking in riddles.. But this is the best way i know how to just release what im feeling…

My sisters tired of me whining.. I bet the angels are all fluttering about about to push me.. To just relax…

Ive been patient. I did my best….. Is there still something wrong with me??


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